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wow. i have certainly gone for some time without actually posting anything--and, for that matter, writing any e-mail at all. many apologies to those of you to whom i owe e-mail, and to hobo joe for not realizing that quantity takes precedence over quality.

honestly, the most interesting thing i have done in the past week or so has been to buy two cds. i believe this makes for a cd count of thirty-five--i purchased soul coughing, lust in phaze: the best of and badly drawn boy, about a boy soundtrack. both cds are excellent--although i'm not sure what made some of the soul coughing songs "best of"--and almost made up for the fact that i have a bit of a financial problem for the next, oh, month or so. but i swear upon all that which is holy to me, i did not know about the financial difficulties before i bought the cds.

i have been trying to find a file-sharing method that fulfills all my musical fantasies the way that audiogalaxy did. i wanted to marry audiogalaxy, you see. anyway, i've tried a couple, soulseek and xolox (which uses the whole gnutella network thingamajig). soulseek had a bunch of electronic stuff--fitting, since that's why they started--but little else when i tried it. xolox is a disappointment, as i can't find much of anything of interest.

actually, i think i'm just bitter with xolox because i downloaded what i thought was the new beth orton single ("concrete sky"), and it ended up being the song she did with the chemical brothers that's on the vanilla sky soundtrack.

so anyway, if anyone has any tips to the next audiogalaxy, let me know. with no money for the next few weeks, i'll need it.

i also think it's odd that about seventy-five percent of the people i know are moving right about now.

counting on the doctor that was keeping you down

now you don't have to spend another minute in this goddamn town

burning all the bridges that could set you free

to let your cold heart ramble.

the twoooo-hundred.

welcome to post number two hundred of the lovelettertypewriter/amusiac portion of my life. it's all very exciting--i'm drinking a martini, wearing a smoking jacket, and smoking a big pipe right now. very exciting, indeed.

most of my mother's side of the family lives in or near indianapolis. as a result, the indianapolis 500 and its grip on that entire city is well-known to me. people put checkered flags in their yards right next to their american flags, there are constant updates from "the brickyard", and in general everyone in indianapolis is required (apparently by law) to give a rat's ass about the race. it's all very surreal, to me at least.

i've been to indianapolis, visiting relatives, on the weekend of memorial day. and one of the only things i remember (aside from actually going to the 500 one year and witnessing the only exciting event of the otherwise excrutiatingly boring race while my uncle and brother went to get snacks) is the song that my grandmother would sing. i don't know if it's even an actual song, and frankly i don't want to know. the only words i remember are "the five hundred. the five hundred!" over and over again.

sometimes in my sleep this song comes back to me, haunting me, reminding me that the extensive knowledge and caring about horsepower actually exists, city-wide, for a day or two. actually, it just annoys the crap out of me, because i don't remember any other words to it, so those three words are repeated over and over and over again in my head.

oh, and i'm on my way to clearing up credit card debt. sure, i will have no money for the next month or so, but it's worth it, right? right? please tell me i'm right.

then again, after this, it's one down, two to go.

the morning comes to a stuttering halt

the cool breeze that flows is somebody's fault

the summer heat tries to burn through

and i look over to warn you but something's happening.